Marty Topps

This is why you never invite an internit celeb on your show unless his name is "Angelo Tony Luongo"

I'm sure you all already know this but I just wanted to say that I am NOT a nerd and I have what is known as a strong, broadcaster's voice.
We'll see if he's gonna be invited back in March (NEW HOUSE PARTY MARCH 2ND!).
Prolly not.

Cuz I'm SICK of all the e-mails I get asking where people can enjoy my classic song library that I wow audiences with all over Toronto (and because TapouT keeps blocking my messages) I decided to open a Soundcloudspace!

Latest tracks by MartyTopps
Coming soon will be some of my stand-up comedy hits!

It wasn't the night we expected, but Oh, What a Night! It was great!
On behalf of myself, T-Bot and Brandon, thanks to everyone who came out on Saturday. Especially Jayvlog89, Calvin Storoschuk, Nick Flanagan, Avery Edison, Todd Graham, FITNESS, Butt and our incredible audience!
Can't wait to see you in March! (back at the Cameron!)

If you didn't make it, here's a quick taste of what you missed. It's tiny! Play it in HD!
(I'll - I mean my ex-girlfriend will put up a longer video soon!)

Just watch this enough times in a row that the world around you starts moving faster. Problem solved! You're welcome. See you Saturday. ;)

"WHAT'S ON SATURDAY?"!!! This...

(click the pic to lose the suit)

Listen up! It's time for your New Year's Spanking so Marty & DJ T-Bot are gearing up to spank ya right in your funnybone! And you better lube up cuz we got spankins for whatever you're into:
Laugh Spanks! Electro Spanks! Dance Spanks! Vizz Spanks! Prize Spanks! Celeb Cameo Spanks! Confetti Spanks! Butt Spanks!

With SUPER special guests like Jayvlog89 (in the flesh!) Sara Hennessey, FITNESS, David Dineen-Porter, Marty 'catman' Simsovic, Avery Edison plus TONS of surprise guests even Marty doesn't know about! Come watch him get disappointed when they're not Ron James.

$5 in advance or $7 at the door. Get tickets through Isaac (isaacwinter@hotmail.com or 416-779-4901)

P.S. We're looking to make the Cameron House our new home. So why don't you come help us ruin their business by DRINKING ALL THEIR BOOZE?!

(click pic to lose the Santa Suit)

We got FITNESS! We got David Dineen-Porter! We got Sara Hennessey! We got Avery Edison! And you know we got Catman! AND SURPRISES!!!
...you should watch this channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/jayvlog89/videos Just sayin.
We're at The Cameron House!
$7 @ the door, $5 in advance (isaacwinter@hotmail.com or 416-779-4901 for tickets)

Been a while? Need a refresher? My ex-girlfriend has you covered!

See you in January.

(click pic to lose the suit)

(click pic for clearer view)

And a big Marty Topps House Party show! announcement to be made...
In the meantime, come check me out at Laughable at Unlovable December 12th. Nick Flanagan and Steph Tolev run this night and it's one of the coolest shows in the city! I'll be doing some new stuff! And some old, tired stuff! Exciting!!!
I know it's a big wait. So to tie you over here is a cute video of me and a kitty:

Follow @MartyTopps

Marty Topps House Party show! has found a new home in THE CAMERON HOUSE on Queen West! We are all super excited. So excited, we won't be doing a show until January 7th.
In the meantime, come see me do guest spots around Toronto at some very cool shows!

Also, I have an twitter account that promises to "underwhelm you at every tweet!" (my wife) for your daily dose of sighs!
Follow @MartyTopps

But in case you forget, there is some great video on the way. Saturday was AWESOME! To everyone who came out that night, Thank You.

Thanks to everyone who made it out on Saturday and to all our super hawt guests. See you in December.
But until then, here is the video we went through together in case you feel the need to renew your vows.

I will always (make) love (to) you.

Hope you've got a surgery appointment booked for Saturday nite cuz this show is going to SPLIT YOUR SIDES!
Tim Gilbert, Chris Locke, Da Appel Boyz, Mack Lawrenz/Sky Shark, Marty 'Catman' Simsovic, Angelo Tony Luongo vizzit w Smearballs and so much more!
Poor Alex Theatre (772 Dundas St. West)
Doors at 10pm. $7 at the door // $5 in advance.

That's right! Marty Topps and DJ T-Bot are set to massage your fun zone once again. So grab some stinky tea tree oil and work your smile parts because this Marty Topps House Party show! is gonna rub you raw!

October 15th, 10pm at the Poor Alex Theatre is where you'll find all your favourite pals like Catman, Rear Admiral Giggles and Angelo Tony Luongo with some HAWT! special guests like...

Tim Gilbert
Chris Locke
Mack Lawrenz/Sky Shark
Da Appel Boyz
and more!

Doors at 10pm. $7 at the door // $5 in advance.*
Get advanced tickets by hunting me (or Brandon Brackenbury) down. Limited number.
isaacwinter@hotmail.com or 416-779-7901

*ticket holders who arrive before 10:30 will be able to have their photo taken in this poster and have it featured on this VERY (lowly traffic'd) website!

...TO THE POOR ALEX THEATRE!!
Get ready to get down at our huge new venue. October 15, 2011, Marty Topps House Party show! takes over! I'm a little zipper-lipped on the special guests right now (exciting details very soon!), but this night is going to be HOT!HOT!HOT!
Only 31 days to go...

DJ T-Bot heard I was gonna GET MY RETIRE ON and made me this vid!
Featuring some of my favourite celeb-buddies like Pat Conroy, Mike Arjas, Raymond Steinbergson, some woman, Styng, America's President Bush and Angelo Tony Luongo!
Thank you, DJ T-BOT! You shouldn't have.

(originally shown at Marty Topps House Party show!: *False* Retirement Announcement Edition)

*For optimal viewing blacken your windows then turn on your home party lasers and fog machines.

Come see these Butt Buddies destroy Bread & Circus with DJ T-Bot and JUMPLE, Steph Tolev, Jon McCurley, Brad McGoey, Catman and more. It'll be like this for the last time.

Marty Topps House Party show! I hope you're ready for an amazing nite. It's happening for the last time at Bread & Circus this Saturday!
10pm. JUMPLE, Steph Tolev, Jon McCurley, Brad McGoey, Catman and suprise special guests!

Remember these?

Goodbye, B&C!

Ticket sales for Marty Topps House Party show for this coming Saturday have been fantastic but we've only been selling to individual audience members. Good for me! Whatever. I just want to make sure you realize the unique business opportunity you're sleeping on. These tickets cost you $5 each, but your resale price is LIMITLESS! Snatch em up while we still got some then just hang outside the Bread&Circus and get that payola!
(You might even wanna keep one for yourself cuz this show is history in the making!)

Btw, Bread & Circus will be closing their doors after this month. They've been a great home to us for the past 3 years and this will be the last show we ever do there... And we plan to make it count! (Pyrotechnics?! Foam Party?)

Make sure to come to House Party on August 13th cuz when this thing blows up I might not have time for it anymore...

Just a reminder... JUMPLE, Catman, Jon McCurley, Steph Tolev, Brad McGoey, RA Giggles and SOO MUCH MORE!!!!!
August 13th, 10pm @ Bread & Circus (299 Augusta Ave.)
$5 in advance or $10 at the door (we will also honour an out-of-towner's aka STD Travel Discount cuz we love when you come up!)

See you soon!

(click poaster for hi res)

Yeah... JUMPLE is performing!! So is Brad McGoey, Steph Tolev and Jon McCurley!
We're super busy working away on this show and I can definitely say it's going to have tonz of OMFG fun surprises for EVERYONE... So book your travel and lodge now to avoid the rush!

And scalpers: Get at me! The door cover for this show is $10, but if you buy your ticket in advance, it's only $5!!!! Limited offer and the only way to get them is through me or Brandon. (they look really cool, btw)
isaacwinter@hotmail.com, 416-779-4901 or stalk me.

MTHPs! regular, Raymond Steinbergson made me his Peep-ee of the month! I am honoured.
(He also played this at the June 3rd edition of MTHPs!)

U CAN PLAN YOUR VIEWING PARTIES NOW because the full length video from the latest Marty Topps House Party show! is currently in po-prod. Here's a gentle misting from the upcoming shower of funz!

Thank you everyone who came out and was involved with Marty Topps House Party show yesterday! What an awesome night!
And thanks to our great guests, Nick Flanagan, Steph Kaliner, Blood Rexdale & The Walls Are Blonde, JAGUARSHARK, Marty 'catman' Simsovic Mike Arajs and Kim Mitchell!*
See you in August, Kimmers!

*R.I.P.

1. Use the password "Onion Dip" to get special discount at the door.
2. Watch all these videos at at the same time.

C u 2nite!
10pm/Bread & Circus
Nick/Steph/Calvin/Catman/Blood Rexdale/Jaguarshark and more!

2nite Marty plays hoast to so many incredible guests, you won't believe your ties!!!

Kym Mitchell*!
Steph Kaliner!
Nick Flanagan!
Calvin Storoschuk!
Blood Rexdale & The Walls Are Blonde!
Marty 'catman' Simsovic!
JAGUARSHARK!
OMFGGG!

The password is "Onion Dip"

*unconfirmed

And check out my Marty Topps House Party show! THIS FRIDAY!!!

June 3rd, 10pm @ Bread & Cirucs (299 Augusta Ave.)

With special guests Nick Flanagan, Steph Kaliner, Calvin Storoschuk, Blood Rexdale & The Walls Are Blonde, JAGUARSHARK, Marty 'catman' Simsovic and more! PLUS super surprise guest, Cue 107's Kym Mitchull*!

*unconfirmed

I've got to stop mentioning this but KIM MITCHELL is possibly going to be accompanying some of my favourite performers like:
Steph Kaliner
Marty 'catman' Simsovic
Calvin Storoschuk
Blood Rexdale & The Walls Are Blonde
at Marty Topps House Party show!
Friday, June 3rd, 2011 @ B&C 10pm

Plus plenty of surprises to make you hate yourself if you miss it!

Check back here for the password!

I'm not supposed to talk about this yet, but there might be a KIM MITCHELL PERFORMANCE!!! The Q105 celebrity may be in attendance to perform some of his signature comedy/rock*. Also, Steph Kaliner, Blood Rexdale & The Walls are Blonde, Marty 'catman' Simsovic, Calvin Storoschuk and more!

*unconfirmed.

Can't say why yet, but just REMEMBER THIS ADVICE!

Thanks soo much to everyone who made it out to the House Party show last week! It was AMAZING! See you at the next one (details coming next week)!

Pic courtesy of Bijoux Wilcox

The secret password to MTHPs! 2nite is "Polygons"! It will get you $2 off door cover.
C U 2nite!

Toronto treasure, Angelo Tony Luongo will be one of the many friends swinging by Marty Topps House Party show! on April 1st! Other friends include Marco Bernardi, Marty 'catman' Simsovic and Rear Admiral Giggles!
APRIL FOOLS!!!!

April 1st
10pm/$10
Bread & Circus

Marty Topps House Party show is becoming bi-monthly starting with an April Fools Day special April 1st, 2011!!
SO MANY GUESTS!!
SO MANY GIGGLES!!!
SO MANY SHOWS!!!!

"What is Networking without the net? It's just working." - Zigg Ziglerr.

Build your social net with Marty!

Facedbook!
Mice Pace!
Utoob!
Utoob (secret channel!)
Twittler!

And you'll get treats like this:

Thanx to everyone who came out this weekend! Such an incredible night! (except Mic Bullard...)
Keep Tutin'!
xoxo!

Please come make my dreamz come true!
Saturday November 27, 10pm at Bread & Cirucs (299 Augusta Ave.)
With special guests Eric Andrews, Tim Gilbert, Johnny Ferguson Marty 'catman' Simsovic, Mike Bulard*, The Barf Bags and more!

And don't forget: "Moist Whistles!"

*(yes, Mike has actually been confirmed. Thx NOS!)

Barf Bags! A Catman! A Rear Admiral! A Hypnotist! SO MUCH MORE!!!
DJ T-Bot and I missed u guyz and can't wait to be back! This one's gonna be BIG!!!1!

The finetastic world of Marty Topps is now at your fingerlips!
Poke Around!

Thanks to everyone who made it out to Ladies Night. You guys made it a super fun time! Especially our guest performers:

Ma"kes me feel like a woman"yhem, Desiree Lavoy (check out her with The Boom every month!), Ladystache (doing their own show this Thursday! Don't miss it!) and Steph Kaliner (every first Wednesday of the month, you can see her amazingness at The Ossington)!

And don't worry! Lips has already started physio and the doctors tell me she'll be good as new for the next show.

Also, check out this new video with Nate Appel from the Ladies Night Band:

See you next show! (HP55555!!!!! coming soon...)

Marty and TV's Lips give you tips on preparing for this Friday's Marty Topps' Ladies Night!
Come out and see our special guests: Desiree Lavoy, Steph Kaliner, Mayhem, Ladystache and Amber Long.
And Nate Apple leadin the band!

Oh my, this is going to be an incredible show.

June 25th, 7:30pm at Bread & Circus.
Don't forget the secret password: karyotope 46, XX

House Party may still be on hiatus, but Marty's BACK with a brand new show!
Ladies Night is a side-splitting showcase of Marty's (2nd) favourite gender. Featuring:
Desiree Lavoy! Steph Kaliner! Ladystache! Plus TONS of surprise guests!
With Nate Appel leading the band and TV's Lips on co-hosting duties!

8pm on June 25th at Bread & Circus. $10.

P.S. Want $3 off the door? Remember the secret password:
karyotype 46,XX

The House Party 4 video is in and on Jupiter! Hop on over and check it out!

There's soo much OMGs you might just OMD!

Thanks to everyone who came out to the House Party show on Friday. It was an INCREDIBLE night!
Please go see Don Valley Stompers every Sunday afternoon at Pauly's, Nick Flanagan at Joke Club and Laugh Sabbath, Catman runs Einstein's every Sunday night, and B.A. Johnston plays wherever you are in Canada (I'm sure he'll be near you soon!)
It was our last House Party show for a while. T-Bot, the Dancers and I appreciate the super support you've given us.
(Don't worry. We'll be back sooner than you think!)
Love,
- Marty.

Marty Topps House Party 4 is happening January 8th!
Featuring Nick Flanagan, B.A. Johnston, Steph Kaliner, Marty Simsovic and plenty of surprises!
Also, Praying Hands is back! Along with DJ T-Bot, Thedaymybabygavemeasurprise and the rest of us!
Oh dear, I can't WAIT!!!

Also come see Marty & T-Bot at,

The MTHPs! has been scheduled as part of The Festival of New Formats at the Comedy Bar Monday January 4th at 8pm.
This will be a more condensed version of our regular show featuring mostly new stuff with some old friends and some new ones!
It only runs an hour and there are another 3 shows right after us definitely worth seeing (and also FREE...)
Don't forget, it's FREE!!! So come on out to support us (and one of the best rooms for comedy in Toronto, in my opinon) and get super-jacked for the big House Party 4 show on the 8th!!!

Thanks to Desiree, Maggie, Johnny and our regulars (DJ T-Bot, Marty Simsovic, and the Dancers: Gates of Steel and Thedaymybabygavemeasurprise) for making MTHP3s! unforgettable!
Hope you had as much fun as Hobart of Fun With Dildos did. (thanks Jerry!)

Remeber this?

It happens again!

This Saturday... U can see Marty, T-Bot, Dancerz, Desiree Lavoy, Maggie Cross, and who knows? Maybe Catman will stop by for a bit. Or even Mic Bullard?
SO MANY SURPRISES!!! I don't know if I can keep them all to myself ;) !

"I love you and can't wait to see you there."
- Marty.

We're working on the poster...

YouTube user, MrIball69 needs your help tracking down the love of his life! Please help him!

And other boys will be Marty Topps!

Thanks to my friends at Camp Couchiching for this one.
See you at House Party 3! (Hopefully coming next month)

It turns out we posted an unfinished version of the MTHP2s! documentary by mistake. Our apologies.
But here it is! Finally! The way Marty would've wanted it...

Rest in Peace, Billy Mays.
Love,
Marty.

Head over to the About page on Venus to see our new "Know Your Dancers" section.
(It gets a little personal!)

Thank you everyone who came out to Marty Topps's House Party 2 show. It was mind blowing!
And thanks to Eric Andrews, Sadie Yancey, Marty Simsovic, The Don Valley Stompers and Johnny and Jules.
We'll have some video clips up soon. In the meantime, start counting days until the next one!

See you this Saturday.
Love,
Marty.

ONLY 10 MORE DAYS!

Want to see how Day dances? It's mindblowing.
And don't forget,
We've got special guests galore. Like ERIC ANDREWS and a comedic Canadian TV personality who for now remains nameless...
As well as musical guests and plenty of surprises!
And of course, DJ T-Bot and the rest of The Marty Topps Dancers.

For more info, read the poster.

Love,
The Marty Topps PR Team.

AREN'T YOU EXCITED???

This one you can't miss.
We've got special guests galore. Like ERIC ANDREWS and a comedic Canadian TV personality who for now remains nameless...
As well as musical guests and plenty of surprises!
And of course, DJ T-Bot and The Marty Topps Dancers.

For more info, read the poster.

Love,
The Marty Topps PR Team.

Hope you find fun, pleasure, excess and good times during this year's Holiday Season!
Love,
Marty Topps.

Who cares?
The next one is already in the works!
In the meantime, check on the fun section (Mars) to virtually experience Marty Topps's House Party! show #1!
Or if your imagination is getting lazy, swing by Jupiter for a more intense experience!
Njoi!

Video recently surfaced about the Marty Topps's House Party! show. Click on videos to view the magic.

Hello friends and more-than-friends!
We here at Marty Topps don't know if you have noticed yet, but the website is back!
The url is http://www.martytopps.ca or
http://martytopps.ca!
Give it a whirl and let me know how much you appreciate it.

Also, we've been talking with youknowwho's people (Televised comedic legend, Mic B.), and nothing is set in stone yet, but the chisel is cocked, so keep your cocks crossed!
(By the way, I didn't write that last joke, but I did lose the coin toss. Love, Marty.)

image copyright Open Mike with Mike Bullard and CTV Globemedia.

Oh, and don't forget this Thursday:

Marty Topps at the EL MOCAMBO (College and Spadina)
Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 8:30pm

Featuring:
T.Bot
Brad McGoey
Marty "Catman" Simsovic
The Marty Topps Dancers
and Friends of the Family
$5.00